First step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, what’s mine?
Well to consume everything I probably shouldn’t consume; cakes, burgers, fries, fizz, snacks. Endless list. The result is that my clothes don’t fit like they used to. I’m out of shape and in a whirlwind trying to get back in. My feeble attempts to go to the gym often come to a halt at the latter part of the week where I’m between the late shift, 2nd job and only day off. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing the battle, like when did I get to this size?
I remember waking up one day and none of my clothes could fit. I made a leap from medium to large with some of the clothes being xl just to fit right. I’ve resigned to the fact that it’s not about shopping for size but shopping to determine whether something is comfortable or not. There are some days where I feel like a whale and others where I’m ok with my size, purely depends on what I wear, where I go and how I feel. Yesterday was a whale day, nothing totally fit to the point of being comfy, I was hot and sweating all day long, and whatever clothes were on had the whole “if you were toned or a lil bit smaller that would look terrific”. It’s crazy when you’re the only one who notices but when it comes to others, it hurts that little bit more because you begin to question what you see when you look into a mirror and how you’re perceived. I won’t lie, I’ll be one of the first to admit that I binge on junk food and eat for comfort. It’s like something happens, I go to the shop, fridge etc and start picking up all the things I really shouldn’t be having.
I don’t even know what the solution is. I tried the 30day challenge, I tried the gym but after work and everything else, I’m usually too tired to care about a potential whale day on the horizon and how I can dispel them for good…
Feel free to comment and share, would love to know your thoughts and whether you have whale days.
(That was written exactly 4wks ago after some information was passed on to me about what someone said. I felt really low and lost all self esteem for a moment until I decided to do something about it. That’s the thing with life, if you don’t like something you’ve gotta make changes, be bold and take a stand. I’ll keep you updated on what I did next…)