The worst part of being social is when you’re faced with an individual who has bad breath. Sometimes it might not be their breath, it might be body odour, their clothes, hair, or whatever the they decided to cook before they left the house.
The worst thing is, you can never tell who will cause you to gag, squint, or twist your neck at the angle whereby you can still manage to breathe whilst masking the fact that this person is causing you major discomfort.
You pray for the shortest interaction possible, but more often than not you are faced with someone who wants to have an elaborate conversation. From the initial point of contact you become Muhammad Ali, bobbing and weaving jab-like toxic fumes thrown from their mouths, strategically keeping your words to a minimum and choosing when to speak, balancing yourself on a tightrope of survival and throwing counter punches to resolve queries as soon as possible.
This is patience at its finest, I’d love to hear your views, how would you tell the guy in your class that he smells damp or the lady querying a course fee that she smells rotten or even one of your work colleagues that they smell rancid?
Whoever can answer those questions most certainly deserves a Nobel peace prize, and I’m sure they’re well on their way to solving poverty, hunger and world peace but… Whatever innit.